Friday, April 19, 2013

breaking news...second suspect in custody from marathon bombing

massachusetts and federal authorities have taken the younger tsarnaev brother into custody after a brief shoot out and stand off with police in watertown, massachusetts at about 8:45 p.m. local time.

president obama, speaking from the 19th hole of an undisclosed golf course, said that it was a shameful day when one stops to consider that the police were actually able to shoot back at the non tea party, generally misunderstood boys from chechnya.  the president further stated that he believed the police acted stupidly, in particular the cambridge police department, and noted  that there is a long history in this country of chechen terrorists being shot, specifically in the greater boston area.

the president would not rule out water boarding  in the questioning of the officers involved in the capture and killing of the devout, peaceful, muslim college students, who he noted friends described as bright and quiet.
when asked to expound on the potential reversal of his disdain for torture, the president stated that only applied to enemy combatants, and not AMERICAN citizens who "defend" the republic.  the president clarified his position by stating it was evolving.  the president also was quick to admonish  his subjects to not rush to judgement, pointing out how bill ayers, a guy he sorta knows from the neighborhood, was wrongly accused of a late 60's and early 70's bombing campaign against the u.s. government.   the president pointed out how investigators used illegal tactics in collecting evidence against ayers, which caused charges agianst him to be dropped.

 the fbi, when asked about the 2011 questioning of the now dead older tsarnaev , if they could have missed anything during that interview which might have prevented the marathon bombing,  responded, that they never miss anything in the numerous movies and television shows about their organization, always getting their man, with the exception of nadel hussein at ft. hood and richard jewell. who they wrongly fingered as the atlanta olympics bomber.

in related news,  it is reported that u.s. attorney general eric holder will hold an 11 p.m. eastern time press conference to announce his resignation and return to private practice at covington & burling, his former law firm.  covington & burling is well known for its defense of 18 terror suspects held by the u.s. government at guantanamo bay,  cuba.  it is believed that holder will be heading up the tsarnaev defense team.

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