Sunday, October 11, 2009

careful what you wish for

from fox news and the atlanta journal-constitution on 10/7/09.

seems a man recently sued the Boston Men's Health Center and won $9 million in punitive and compensatory damages, after he sought them out for treatment of his erectile dysfunction.

JOHN HENRY howard,( how great is that!), went to the health center in 2006 for treatment, received 1 injection in the love muscle, then promptly bought a 6 month supply. he also received instruction in how to properly administer the substance, and what to do if complications (ahem), arose.

according to the story and i assume testimony, JOHN HENRY shot himself up once and got a 2 day stiffy in return. no returning that shit to wal-mart cause it don't work. after the swelling went down, i assume, our tragic hero went ambulance chaser shopping and filed suit, claiming the marathon bone left him with scar tissue. his mouth piece said his client felt misled by the health center about the treatments and possible side effects.

oh, what i would not have given to represent that defendant. ladies and gentlemen, what percentage of men, in your experience, read or follow directions? follow the advice given to them by doctors? use or consume too much medicine, alcohol or fatty foods?
mr. howard, you did come to the health center because you could not get it up, right? and now you don't have that problem any longer, so to speak, do you? so you would have to agree the results exceeded your wildest expectations.

i'm pretty sure i couldn't do this shit. i won't even poke my own finger to check my blood sugar on dads glucose meter. you want me to stick a needle where?! which way to the exit mengele?

the wife says the JOHN HENRY reference will go over readers heads, pardon the pun. it's an old slang term for-you got it, your member. how ironic this guys name is JOHN HENRY. fact is often stranger than fiction. anybody want to bet he "blows" the money on crack and whores?


  1. Another waste of perfectly good air....And Ironic about the John Henry reference!! Do you think that maybe that's why he was having problem's? Some deep rooted fear from his child hood which then caused him to "malfunction" and seek help, only to be humiliated with a two day woody? (Of course that's worth 9 million $$, makes me almost wish I was a guy......NOT )

  2. And the problem with a two-day hard on is what??? I see no problem there!

  3. his hands probably threatened to leave him.

  4. Christ, Jim, if I had a 2-day boner I'd call CNN, not a lawyer!

  5. I recently posted on Facebook that I'd lost 20 pounds in about 7 weeks and that the problem with losing so much weight in such a short time was my pants kept trying to fall off.

    The immediate, and sound, advice I received (naturally, aside from buying new clothes) is that I should just starting taking Viagra all the time.

  6. haha, funny stuff. I don't get these erectile people. Anything for a boner. My aunt's a nurse, she used to tell me all the strange things men do with their John Henry's - I won't repeat it, other than to say a vacuum cleaner really should be used only on floors. Ooch.


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