Tuesday, November 3, 2009

rainy days and mondays always get me down

it wasn't raining, but i'm still sad. monday the 2nd, crown vickie, my second true love, left me rather suddenly. while driving south bound, i noticed a blue pickup tearing ass out of a private lot. i immediately thought, "what did this fucker do?" my next thought was, "there's going to be an accident", based on this blue trucks proximity to a south bound white truck.

as it turned north at a high rate of speed, the blue truck fish tailed, crossed the double yellow, side swiped the white pickup, bounced off and-------headed towards me. i slowed as soon as i perceived the potential of the ass wrinkle, and steered right to try to avoid impending doom, but ended up sentencing crown vickie to her demise.

we got hit head on. not too hard, but enough to shove us sideways. as i was thinking, "hey, can't be that bad, the air bag didn't BANG, deploy, (the air bag deploys)". fuck, now i'm mad. vickie was new and fresh. 7,000 miles, and straight down the shitter.

i jump out as, mr. i can drive, is roasting off the tires trying to get the fuck out of my area of operations. politely i tell him i require his presence outside the truck, on the ground. turns out he doesn't have a drivers license, but does have an outstanding warrant and some weed. my monday is bad, but his is worse. based on his shitty understanding of the rules of the road, genius goes to the house of many doors for reckless driving ,and also for taking out the nice old guys white truck and vickie.

she was a good, faithful ride that always came to life at the caress of my hand and i'll miss her. rumor is a new girl (dodge charger) is looking for a man. i'll still remember you fondly, but it's time to move on with my life. we'll always have the summer of '09, darling.

p.s. no policemen or citizens were injured in this incident.


  1. Shit-Oh-Dear...this is tragic, and we're both glad you're okay, but holy shit, you tell a funny story. Only YOU could turn a head on collision with an assclown into comic genius.

  2. Great post! Glad no one was hurt, and hope you aren't too big of a man as that Charger is a sweet SMALL ride!! We have a few!

  3. glad you liked it. if you can walk away they are all pretty funny. i would tell you i am a big man, on a medium frame, but then the first true love would begin to hit me in the head repeatedly with whatever was available, claiming my injuries were a result of the accident.

  4. HHAHAHHAHAH Um I was referring to how you would fit in the car.................you would desereve at least half of those injuries by the remark!

  5. Bummer about the car... glad to hear the two of you are well.

    Hope your shopping experience goes well - you should find a lot of hungry dealerships out there willing to slash some dollars!

  6. Tragic, but very common in my neck of the woods. Atleast he can't run to Mexico.

  7. So sorry pal. I just had my first accident ever in September. Not something I want to repeat.

    Condolences on losing Vickie. :-(

    Glad you weren't hurt!

  8. B&G not the first, won't be the last i'm sure. i just hope they don't rebuild her. as far as getting hurt, i guess the old adage applies, you can't kill-or even injure, the stupid. :)


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